As many of you know, I work hard for the money at a pet store and LOVE it! It isn't always sunshine and butterflies, however. So here are my cheers and jeers about work:
CHEERS: The animals are fwacking adorable. They cuddle, nuzzle, kiss and squeak their way straight to my heart.
JEERS: They poop. They all poop. They poop prolifically, with complete abandon and utter disregard for basic decency.
In the food? Yep.
In the water? Of course!
On the wall? Sure, why not?!
On their littermates? Eh, they won't even notice.
As soon as you charge into the store, causing a train wreck of eager (or terrified) animals following suit and ticking off customers squishing into it and scraping it off throughout the store before we can clean it all up? Why - that's the best kind!
JEERS: A large portion of my job description involves eradicating all evidence that our pets have a digestive system. There is a LOT of evidence to eradicate.
CHEERS: The ability to guide enthusiastic families with the addition of a new pet - quite an exciting time!
JEERS: Realizing that half of the customers just want you to tell them what they want to hear.
"So you're telling me that pairing a snake with a hamster would have disastrous results? Nah, not at our house! I'll keep them both in a trash can under the front porch - they'll love it!"
"My 5 gallon aquarium water tested as toxic sludge? Why, then it's a perfect time to add five tiger oscars, seven goldfish and a neon tetra!"
CHEERS: Working with amazingly supportive managers and co-workers who laude openly and laugh often.
JEERS: Getting stuck with twice the amount of work because somebody before me decided not to do one single productive thing during their shift.
CHEERS: Having a job that utilizes all of my focus and physical strength. This leaves no room for the crushing negativity of my own thoughts and inner voice.
JEERS: They flood back in as soon as I clock out.
JEERS: Not enough money!
CHEERS: Working at the most rainbowriffic Gaytopia east of the Mississippi. Employees and customers alike! Those who aren't on the rainbow wagon are open-minded and accepting of those who are. It's like I go home when I go to work.
JEERS: Even though there is a steady stream of glorious gayness pouring into the store . . not one of them has given me a second glance. Or a phone number. Or a hand in marriage.
CHEERS: It's nice to have a wealth of eye candy every single workday. And as adorable as the animals are, there is no substitute for the light and warmth of human eyes. The human connection-no matter how brief-gives me the fuel I need to rise above any petty frustrations that occur at work.
And who knows? Maybe some day one of those eyes will wink at me!